Limiting beliefs cop a bad rap and they deserve it. Largely, any self-limiting belief is a form of suppression which may be linked to a past trauma (of any scale being disappointment through to devastation), a person’s judgement of you – telling you are not worthy or your own feelings of unworthiness – through to adding meaning to a past experience, such as a loss.
How to recognise limiting beliefs?
Every time you want to experience something but you have an excuse as to why you can’t/won’t do it, that is your limiting belief. So, if you feel you don’t know enough people to change friendship circles, or move to a new town, that could be a belief that you are not enough to create or attract new friendships.
We do not want to have limiting beliefs in our life because it is a form of suppression. It prevents you to from having what you want. When you believe your limits exist, you are “stuck” where you are right now. Here is an exercise in how to break this cycle of believing the limiting belief:
- recognise when you are coming up with excuses
- reflect on that excuse and identify if there is evidence in your physical world, or your family history, or your past to support this belief (lack of money, time, connections, lack of acceptance, or something else). The ego and brain thrive on seeking ‘evidence’ so it can create a ‘fact’, but all too often our repeated thoughts are a FEAR not a truth.
- Begin a Q&A reflection session with yourself along the lines of this:
- I want someone special to love me (replace it with “I choose to focus on loving and accept all that I am” )
- I want to be liked by others (replace this thought with “I choose to let myself of the hook and be kind to myself, to actually allow me to like myself.”)
- This situation is hard because…. (replace with “This situation is easy in this moment. ”)
- I want this asap (replace with “I’m able to enjoy where I am now in this moment.”)
- This situation has held me back (replace with “this situation has helped me grow.”)
- I don’t like ‘a b c’ (replace with “ I do like x y z” something else in your life)
- It’s her/his / their fault (“my reality is my responsibility.” that is, I’m responsible for what I allow into my life and what I do not allow into my life)
- I can’t because… (replace with “I can because….”)
I hope you’ve enjoyed these journaling and reflection prompts and please try them in the next two days!
By Leigh White, Transformational Coach