How I discovered that my search for a coach was exactly like the dating game

How I discovered that my search for a coach was exactly like the dating game

Let’s just say, not everyone we meet is ‘keeper’ when it comes to finding ‘the one’. Here are my 7 top things to consider so you can get it right, based on my own journey with mentors and coaches…

Would you love to solve the problem that you know is holding you back? Maybe you lack confidence when presenting at work or meeting new people, or you just plain hate your job and want to discover a more fulfilling way to work? Or, have better relationships in all areas of life.

It can feel daunting considering working with a coach because they may actually kind of make you make the change you said you wanted. They can help you learn how to reach this change, but much more than that they help you to be accountable and actually implement the lessons.  el  I know I’ve been there! I remember searching for a business coach. I won a coaching session with a woman, who when I told her parts of my story she shed a tear or two – I wasn’t exactly empowering for me, and especially having just met her. I didn’t form a positive rapport and then she figured it was ideal time to offer her mega coaching package to me.


It was just like when you see in a movie, one of the two on a date asks if the other is wanting to have a family!

At the time, I wanted a business coach and it seemed the way to achieve more fulfilment. I ended up choosing a totally different coach and she focused on the inner work before we even tackled the job side of the task at hand. It was excellent and totally transforming!

If you are shopping for a coach, here are my tips:

  1. Like any relationship, it is all about the rapport or chemistry. Without this, there is no relationship from which you can build the trust and capacity to share, explore and be vulnerable. A coach is skilled in helping you to take a look within, at a much more daring level than you normally would look within and understand what you are currently experiencing and what is blocking you.

2.*Cough cough* being vulnerable will be part of your journey, regardless of whether you want it to involve baring some of the parts you normally hide. Coaching tends to tap into the hidden areas as a means of safely guiding you to experience these fears in a restorative and safe place.

  1. Does the coach specialize in an area that is related or directly on target to the solution you seek? The coach having previous experience and having invested in really honing their skills to quickly facilitate you identifying causes or solutions, will be key to your success.

And are they are thought leader, speaker or similar in that area?  This part is important, but it is not everything because being good or expert at something does not make one a good and effective coach, let alone a winning coach.

  1. Just like a first date, don’t be a cheap skate if you want it to last! If you want large scale transformation, particularly if it is really specialized, get ready to invest and you’ll get the results you want. It is not about the investment, it is about the transformation. Many coaches offer 6 month or 12 month programs to ensure you not only grow and develop but have lasting change. Isn’t that what you would love?
  2. Precisely like dating there is more than one ideal match for you. You may choose a coach and a respected peer has a different counsellor/mentor /coach – don’t compare. It will always be individual, often small differences, that set each coach apart.
  3. First impressions do tell you a great deal! Listen to your vibes and if you don’t connect for some reason, often it is worth going with that. Many coaches offer a plethora of testimonials on their websites/social accounts and even free meet and greet (discovery calls) calls so you can get a sense of each other. They will be interviewing you just as much as you are interviewing them.
  4. When you think you are narrowing down the field to ‘the one’, ask if they have a mentor or coach themselves? Coaches are obligated to do their own their own inner work and ongoing development. It is the nature of the game.

If you are a whizz at dating, you’ll probably nail choosing a good fit coach. Yet if like most people you have been on the merry go round more than once, this guide should be useful in connecting with the best fit coach for you.

By Leigh White, Transformational Coach

In 2017 Leigh created a private community for soulful and sensitive women who are seeking more confidence, fulfilment and clarity in their life! Join here:

To speak with Leigh directly book a free 30 minute call via her website: